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Infidelity in marriage: Who is to blame?

Calister Nwaneri
Infidelity or cheating has many definitions.
 Mariam Webster dictionary defines Infidelity as the act or fact of having a romantic or sexual relationship with someone other than one’s husband, wife, or partner.
Cheating occurs when there is an agreement between two partners to be in a monogamous relationship and one partner violates the agreement and engages in sexual or emotional intimacy with someone outside the relationship.
Oftentimes,  people only think of sexual relations as cheating, yet sharing emotional intimate parts of oneself with someone outside the relationship can also be considered as cheating.
However, cheating doesn’t mean the end to a relationship, I believe it can be repaired if both partners are willing to do the work it out.
There is a common misconception that it’s only men who step out on their partners and that women are always faithful.
To that, I say: Who are all these men cheating with exactly? Do married men and men in committed relationships only cheat with single women?
The simple truth is that approximately as many married  women cheat as married men.
Research suggests that 10 to 20 percent of men and women in marriages or other committed (monogamous) relationships will actively engage in sexual activity outside of their primary relationship.
And these numbers are likely under-reported, possibly by a wide margin.
In Nigeria especially, cheating amongst women is not often discussed in comparison to cheating in men.
 Mr. Obiukwu, a married man living in Lagos, in his own words, has this to say about cheating women.
“The ratio at which married men to women cheat is almost at par. The difference is secrecy, women are more coded and would most times or never flaunt it unlike a man who sees cheating with other women as a quest to conquer or some sort of ego thing”.
Franklin is a bachelor in Lagos who works hard and hardly stays at home except on weekends.
 That does not stop his 30-something-year-old married neighbour from  making a pass at him.
“My neighbour – a pretty married woman,  would always try to initiate conversation with me and when that didn’t work, she got my phone number from our gate man and kept calling me for a hangout with her.
“She even invited me to go with her to an event at her place of work. I always politely rejected her advances. Maybe if I had rudely rebuffed her, she would have kept a distance,” says the Lagos big boy.
The married woman was still on his case at the time of writing this piece.
Femi has a similar story and so does Abdullah, both of whom have been hit on by married women in their 30’s and 50’s respectively.
An independent survey also conducted in Africa by AE affirms the fact that Nigeria with a population of over 160 million, tops the chart for cheating women.
Corruption and a general distrust amongst citizens is largely responsible for this.
None of that, of course, explains why women cheat. Nor does it address the fact that women and men often cheat for very different reasons.
So Why Do Women Cheat?
From surveys carried out over the years, typically, females step out on a committed partner for one or more of the following reasons:
• They feel underappreciated, neglected, or ignored. They feel more like a housekeeper, nanny or financial provider than a wife or girlfriend. So they seek an external situation that validates them for who they are, rather than the services they perform.
• They crave intimacy. Women tend to feel valued and connected to a significant other more through non-sexual, emotional interplay (talking, having fun together, being thoughtful, building a home and social life together, etc.) than sexual activity.
When they’re not feeling that type of connection from their primary partner, they may seek it elsewhere.
• They are overwhelmed by the needs of others. Recent research about women who cheat indicates that many women, despite stating that they deeply love their spouses, their home, their work, and their lives, cheat anyway.
These women often describe feeling so under-supported and overwhelmed by having to be all things to all people at all times that they seek extramarital sex as a form of life-fulfilment.
• They are lonely. Women can experience loneliness in a relationship for any number of reasons. Maybe their spouses work long hours or travel for business on a regular basis, or maybe their spouses are emotionally unavailable.
Whatever the cause, they feel lonely maybe their spouses  are emotionally unavailable. Whatever the cause, they feel lonely, and they seek connection through infidelity to fill the void.
• They expect too much from a primary relationship. Some women have unreasonable expectations about what their primary partner and relationship should provide.
They expect their spouses to meet their every need 24/7, 365 days a year, and when that doesn’t happen, they seek attention elsewhere.
• They are responding to or re-enacting early-life trauma and abuse. Sometimes women who experienced profound early-life (or adult) trauma, especially sexual trauma, will re-enact that trauma as a way of trying to master or control it.
• They’re not having enough satisfying sex at home. There is a societal misconception that only men enjoy sex. But plenty of women also enjoy sex, and if they’re not getting it at home, or it’s not enjoyable to them, for whatever reason, they may well seek for it elsewhere.
As with male cheaters, women who cheat typically do not realize (in the moment) how profoundly infidelity affects their partner and their relationship.
Cheating hurts betrayed men just as much as it hurts betrayed women. The keeping of secrets, especially sexual and romantic secrets, damages relationship trust and is incredibly painful regardless of gender.
If a couple chooses to address the situation together, couple’s counselling can turn a relationship crisis into a growth opportunity.
Unfortunately, even when experienced therapists are extensively involved with people committed to healing, some couples are unable to ever regain the necessary sense of trust and emotional safety required to make it together.
For these couples, solid, neutral relationship therapy can help the people involved to process a long overdue goodbye.
 But cheating doesn’t have to be seen as the end of a relationship; instead, it can be viewed as a test of its maturity and ability to weather the storm.
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Aare Asiwaju Haruna Omolajomo becomes  BOBAJIRORO OLOFIN OF MAIDAN-lSHERI MILE 12 KINGDOM .

The Eyewitness Reporter 

It was a historical event on Friday, December 27th , 2024 , when the Managing Director, Chief Executive Officer,( CEO) Harsecom Logistics Nigeria Limited, Aare Asiwaju Haruna Omolajomo was crowned as the High Chief BOBAJIRORO OLOFIN OF MAIDAN-lSHERI MILE 12 KINGDOM, Lagos.

High Chief Omolajomo, an erudite Maritime guru and Logistics expert, is also the Executive General Secretary, Association of Bonded Terminal Operators of Nigeria (ABTON).

He has worked in more than seven bonded Terminals in Nigeria and has won several golden laurels in both public and private businesses.

High Chief Omolajomo is also one of the eloquent and outspoken Maritime Stakeholders and Consultants in Nigeria.

He doesn’t keep quiet on national issues and mostly when it concerns the maritime industry.

He is always ready to defend local content as he is fond of offering practical solutions on how to solve maritime challenges .

Aare Asiwaju Haruna Omolajomo was decorated as the High Chief BOBAJIRORO of Maidan, Mile 12 at the Palace of HRH, Oba ADELANA BABATUNDE OGUNJOBI the Olofin ADIMULA OF MAIDAN-lSHERI MILE 12 KINGDOM on the colourful and well attended ceremony as important personalities from walks of life from all over the country were in attendance.

High Chief Omolajomo was beaming with smiles alongside his beautiful heartthrob ,Hajia Maryam Bolatiwa Omolajomo .


While decorating the newly crowned High Chief BOBAJIRORO,the paramount ruler, HRH Oba ADELANA BABATUNDE OGUNJOBI said that Aare Asiwaju Haruna Omolajomo was bestowed with this honour in honor of his various achievements, contributions and supports towards the social, economic and political developments in the area .

The HRH Oba ADELANA BABATUNDE OGUNJOBI who said he was celebrating his 2nd coronation on that day, was full of praises for Aare Asiwaju Haruna Omolajomo and other Community High Chiefs and important personalities in the area .

According to the king , he said he deemed it appropriate to honour Aare Asiwaju Haruna Omolajomo with the title of BOBAJIRORO OLOFIN OF MAIDAN-lSHERI MILE 12 KINGDOM.

While decorating the new High Chief BOBAJIRORO OLOFIN, the king and the kingmakers congratulated him and they prayed that God should give him the wisdom and knowledge to be able to carry out the assignment expected from him by the community.

They said they hoped that the kingdom would continue to benefit immensely from his knowledge, wisdom and support in the quest for a peaceful and prosperous Maidan kingdom.

It should be noted that this is another colour added to Aare Asiwaju Haruna Omolajomo’s feathers.

He was recently bestowed with award as well as been made one of the patrons of the league of lmams and Alfas in a community called Agiliti, Mile 12.

Aare Asiwaju Omolajomo is a known philanthropist, a Maritime Personality and maritime consultant of high repute;an expert who is knowledgeable and well grounded in Marine and Blue Economy.

Those who attended the ceremonies included traditional rulers, Baales and high Chiefs in the area .

Others were his colleagues from maritime industry, former school colleagues from Maryland Comprehensive Secondary School, known as the Landers , club members, relatives ,friends ,well wishers , press, Religious and political leaders.

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Yuletide: Travels agency puts smiles on indigents, raises hope for better tomorrow 

Funso OLOJO
In a rare show  of corporate social responsibility, Kiwi  Kruise Travels has given back to its community, providing food and drinks to those in need.
The event was held on Friday the 13 th day of December 2024 in the company’s premises at 32 Obanikoro , Obanikoro Lagos State.
It was to commemorate the end of the year 2024, aims to promote hope and resilience in the face of economic challenges.
According to Oshunbiyi Olamide, Business Manager for Kiwi Kruise Travels, the company believes in giving back to the community and thanking God for the year’s blessings.
“We believe so much in Nigeria, and we want to promote hope and resilience in the face of challenges,” Olamide said.
The event is expected to serve as a means of advertisement for the company, showcasing its commitment to corporate social responsibility and community development.
Kiwi Kruise Travels offers a range of services, including background checks, logistics, driving school, and travel services.
Olamide’s message to the community and Nigerians at large is one of hope and resilience.
“We know that things are hard today, but we believe that things will still get better. We should not lose our hope in this country. Nigeria is still going to be great again.”
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Immigration arrests Bobrisky at Seme Border as he attempts to flee the country 

Bobrisky and VeryDarkMan

The Eyewitness Reporter

The Nigeria Immigration Service (NIS) has confirmed the arrest of controversial crossdresser Idris Okuneye, popularly known as Bobrisky.

Recall that social media influencer Martins Otse, known as VeryDarkMan, had  earlier  alerted the public that Bobrisky had been arrested while attempting to escape to Benin Republic.
Bobrisky’s arrest reportedly occurred just hours before he was scheduled to attend a Senate panel of inquiry meeting regarding allegations against him.
Confirming the situation, NIS, in a brief statement issued on Monday by its spokesperson, DCI KT Udo, said they arrested Bobrisky while he was attempting to flee the country via Seme Border.
The statement reads, “In keeping with its commitment to securing the borders, Nigeria Immigration Service (NIS) intercepted Okuneye Idris Olanrewaju, otherwise known as Bobrisky, at the Seme Border over an attempt to Exit the Country.
“The Service wishes to inform the public that OKUNEYE IDRIS is a person of interest over recent issues of public concern. He is undergoing interrogation and will be handed over to the appropriate Authorities for further action.
“The Service assures the public that it will continue to be civil and professional in its statutory responsibility of manning the Country’s Borders.”

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